Haunted

Are you dead?
'cause I can see your ghost everywhere!

Panda

 I was fast asleep when I woke up with a loud bang. I had stayed up all night working and I had to get up in 3 hours. All I wanted was a few hours sleep. I got up to see what woke me. It was still dawn. I switched on my bedside lamp and saw a small boy standing outside my bedroom window, goggling at me with huge brown eyes. There was something familiar about those eyes. Where had I seen them before? He was wearing striped pyjamas, and he had light brown hair that was all ruffled-up and messy. I looked at him for a few seconds just to regain consciousness. I went towards the window, wondering what a small boy, who was probably no older than 5, was doing up so early?

I said “Go away! Don’t stand here” as I closed the window and drew back the curtains, yawning. Then I just slumped back onto my pillows. Thinking about the long, hard day ahead of me I fell fast asleep.

 When I woke up, I was already late; I just drained down a cup of coffee and hurried out.

********** 

 It was a tough day, but it was finally over. As soon as I got home, I went straight to the bathroom to get a couple of aspirins. My head was thumping with pain. I sat on my bed, droopily, kicking off my shoes and massaging my feet. Ten years of wearing high-healed shoes everyday and I still hadn’t got used to them. “Yeah, start wearing trainers and eventually everyone would you a Cat-Lady” I thought gloomily. What is it with cats anyway? Cats are nice pets. Why in the world would people all of a sudden assume that you’re desperate and lonely as soon as you get one? Why are you a cool person if you’ve got dogs? I hate stereotypes! They don’t make any sense at all.

 I drew back the curtains to get a little light into the room then I saw the same little boy from this morning standing outside my window again, but this time with a little distance, looking a bit scared. He was a skinny looking kid, and his knees were full of scrapes and scratches. I bet he climbed trees a lot. The thought of climbing trees gave my stomach a tiny little leap, and I felt myself smiling faintly. Then I remembered that the window had been open the night before. I thought maybe he had accidentally dropped something through it. A ball perhaps? I started to look around my bedroom floor. I didn’t find a ball, but my own teddy bear was lying on the ground next to my bed-post. It wasn’t one of those huge, cuddly teddies; it was quite a small one, a bit bigger than the palm of your hand. It was a black and white panda bear, and I called him panda, the only stuffed-animal I had ever owned and I absolutely adored it. What was it doing there? It was supposed to be on my bedside table, it was always there. Maybe I had knocked it over accidentally. And how on earth did it get t so dirty? Tomorrow was laundry day anyway. I’ll just pop it in the basket. Just as I bent down to pick it up, the phone rang, so I abandoned the poor teddy, and rushed out of the bedroom to answer it.

 I wasn’t in the mood for drinks. I just wanted to be alone. I made up a couple of excuses, then I went off to take a long hot bath. I got out thinking about going in the kitchen to get something to eat. As I was putting on y dressing-gown I heard the sound of smashing glass coming out of my bedroom. 

  I hurried into the room and saw shattered glass all over the floor. I was horror struck! There he was! The little devil! Standing behind the window, holding a long stick in his hand.

“What the ….!? What did you do that for?”

He stumbled on and ran away at the sight of me!

“Oi! Come back here!”

Yelling my head off with empty threats I bent down to fully appreciate the extra work he had made for me.

“You nasty little bugger, wait till I get my hands on you!” what was the point? He was already gone.

Bloody hell...what am I going to do now? I mumbled.

 Picking up the shards of glass and cursing under my breath, I spotted my panda bear again. This time I picked it up and thrust it into the laundry basket angrily. Then I went to bring a broom to sweep off the rest of the mess. “I should probably tape a plastic cover over the broken gap on my window until I have it properly fixed” I thought before going to bed. What a night!                  

                      

**********

 The next morning I woke up quite early, and the first thing I did was to start up the laundry. I took the now sparkling clean panda and a set of clean sheets to my bedroom, then I froze…I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was I seeing pandas everywhere? My panda was already sitting serenely on my nightstand, as clean as ever. But if that was my teddy bear, what was this one in my hand? They were exactly identical. For a moment I was dazed, only two of these pandas existed in the entire world, because they were handmade. A gift from the old lady next door. One for me and the other for...I gasped, then suddenly I was pushed back through time, and there it was as clear as it were yesterday: the memory of a cosy kitchen, a basket of knitting wools and the smell of freshly baked bramble pie.

Oh bramble pie! It had been ages since I had some. And I remembered her, my best friend in the whole world. We used to do everything together. Climbing trees, hiding in huge bushes, collecting ladybirds, oh how I used to love ladybirds. Watching them as they walked on my hand tickling me. I could watch them all day and never get bored. We used to put them in jars and make holes in the lid so they could breathe, and we fed them leaves and petals. Lazing about on the cool grass all day, making daisy necklaces and running barefoot, feeling the grass under my feet was my most favourite thing in the world. We used to run and run until we couldn’t feel our legs anymore. Our secret hideouts, talking to imaginary fairies and woodland creatures, we used to pretend we had a secret land of our own. And finally gathering brambles. Yes the sweet and sour brambles. We gathered them for the old lady next door and she made us pie. The best pie in the world!   

 As I came out of my reverie, I remembered the little boy. So the silly panda must’ve been his all along. I couldn’t help but smiling. I went, towards the window carrying both bears. I pulled back the curtains then I stuck out my arm out of the window holding his bear, and sure enough, he came round from a corner. I sat on the windowsill and looked at him. Now I remembered where I had seen those big brown eyes. He timidly reached toward the bear, as he did I pulled it back. “You shouldn’t have broken my window” but I was smiling. Obviously the teddy meant a lot to him. So I said nothing more and gave him the bear. “Do you like bramble pie?” I asked showing him my own panda.

He looked at my bear with awe for a second, then his face split into a wide smile.  

Breakdown

There’s a red light
You follow it

It’s coming out of a window.


You look through it
You think you can see a face,
You squint your eyes at it
You see a vague shadow
You’re almost convinced
Then you back away a little to get a clearer view
Nothing’s there.


The cards are all suspended in mid-air,
You reach out
They all fall down to the ground
You try to pick them up
You disappear.
It’s all black.


There’s a red light…
You stay put.

Artist

You’re so talented

You’re a genius

You’ve created a masterpiece

You’ve made history

You’ve immortalised yourself

You've made an everlasting change

You'll be a legend remembered forever

It’s enormous

So hard and rough

So gruesome

So mesmerising

So deep and dark

So utterly irreplaceable

….

This stone abyss you carved into my chest.

I Figured It Out

My dignity is gone!

That’s a bloody high price for sheer honesty...
That's what this torture is!

Fear

Don't be afraid of ANYTHING.
Because the things you fear the most are bound to happen to you.
That’s a rule!

Denial

You think me weak for not forgetting you?

But if I did I would be just like you!

I’d rather live my life in this burning hell!

Than live it like you do:

In complete denial!

Paradise

If this is love,

Then where the hell is Hell??

:))))

You spit me out!
But next time honey,
Don't bite off more than you can chew!!
You might choke to death!

Damn You

Liar

You’re such a wanker for telling me all those beautiful lies.

But you know who the bigger mug is?

Me! For believing them!

Pain Beyond Death

I dreamt I died, but the agonising pain was still there!

Dream

You put me inside a bubble
That I knew would burst any minute
And I would wake up from this dream
How do you hold on to a bubble?
I knew it was fragile
I knew it wasn’t safe
I knew it couldn’t hold me forever
But it was home
And I had to protect it
Now the bubble is gone
And I am falling
But the days I was floating
Were the best

The Scarlet Wind

It was a pitch black night In the middle of nowhere. Alongside the road a car was parked. Its hood was up. A man was bent low over the engine. He was trying to fix it. He was a strong looking man. A bit shorter than average. He had a sun-burnt skin. His hands were greasy up to his elbows. He kept cursing under his breath, with each blow he took to the car engine. A few feet away, a woman was sitting on a rock. Wearing a silk crimson dress, with a black shawl wrapped around her shoulders. Her sleek black hair was tied into a tight coil at the back of her neck. Her unfocused gaze was fixed on something invisible in the distance. They were surrounded by wheat-fields for miles and miles around them. The only sounds that could be heard were the constant clinging and banging coming from the engine… and the breeze that blew gently through the field. The woman closed her eyes. She held her head up for the wind to gently stroke her cherry red cheeks. The man didn’t lift his head. He continued to bang harder on the engine.

 The wind blew stronger. The woman stood up. She was almost knee deep in the wheat grass. She listened with her eyes closed to the wind. She could hear the wind calling her name. She walked a few paces opposite the wind, with her arms wide open, as though welcoming it, as though embracing it. Her head held high. A vague smile on her lips, as if the wind were whispering a secret gently in her ear. The man didn’t see.

 The wind gave her a nudge, almost lifting her feet off the ground. She chuckled playfully. He didn’t hear that either. He kept on banging. This time the wind blew so hard it took her shawl away. She didn’t protest. She didn’t go after it. She just opened her arms wider. Smiling broadly. It flew over and hit the man on the face. He threw it away forcefully without looking at it. And continued with his work.

 The wind was beating savagely against her face and hair. Her hair came loose lashing wildly against her cheeks. The scarlet laces of her dress were dancing passionately around her body. It made her look like an angel of fire. She twirled around several times, dancing with the wind. The man didn’t feel the wind blowing away. He kept banging none stop.

 The wind howled stronger and louder. The sound of banging was almost drowned in the strong whistles of the wind. She walked a few more steps towards the wind on tip-toe, then…she was lifted off her feet and into the air. Rising gracefully away from the ground. She was smiling peacefully as the wind took her away. She flew higher and higher into the sky. Then she was gone. The banging didn’t end. 

Irony

Have you ever heard of a broken heart?

But my heart is not broken

Because hearts don’t break

Hearts tear

They rip open

They bleed

They wound

They… die

You broke my mind

You broke my trust

You broke my pride

You broke my faith

You broke my hope

You broke my humanity

You broke my ability to love

but my heart most definitely isn't broken.

Time ...

They say that time will heal all…

But I’ve learned that some wounds get deeper with time.

   

Je Suis Malade...

Tu m'as privée de tous mes chants
Tu m'as vidée de tous mes mots
Pourtant moi j'avais du talent avant ta peau...

                                                                      -Lara Fabian