There once was a land where everyone was King or Queen. Everyone got to rule, and everyone wore a crown. In this land things were calm, everyone was peaceful. Everything was in order and pre-planned. The streets were clean, people were happy. No one had problems, or diseases. No one would cry. No one would get angry or jealous. Nobody would steal, cheat or kill. Everything was in harmony. No one would want more. Everything was just…perfect, there’s no other word for it but: perfect!
Now this place had a rule and anyone who broke that rule…well that’s not really necessary to tell, what happened to them, because in this land nobody would break rules. Everyone’s neat and clean and responsible, remember? Where was I? Ah yes, this place had a rule that men and women took turns in ruling (you see men and women have to take turns to do things, because they refuse to work with each other and each one thinks they can do better than the other and each one has that powerful urge to prove that they can do better than the other.) So men and women took turns in running the kingdom. Men would rule for ten years then they would retire and give the throne to the women, then again after ten years they would switch again. You see? Smart idea isn’t it? Whoever came up with this plan was a genius. Actually they were geniuses and they were honoured with several medals and awards and stuff, although I can’t remember their names. Well I mean it was a long time ago, who can blame me? It’s true that I’m the one writing this story and I’m probably the only person who knows the most about this kingdom, because it’s in my imagination, but still I don’t know “everything” about it. I know a bunch of celebrities, or the names of a few scientists and a couple of good chefs and such but I don’t know its entire history! Well anyway I know that they lived a long time ago and they were a couple and they thought really hard and came up with this idea to help with the chaos they were facing, and well you know the rest….
I was saying, men and women took turns, and they switched every ten years. But (ah the tricky part) but, during this ten years the none-rulers became the slaves of the rulers. I know, pretty tough huh? but trust me it works-well at least for them- which means they had to do everything, absolutely EVERYTHING they were told.
Each ruler had their own style, even the shapes of the streets changed during each ten years. The queens had square shaped streets that went upwards, and the kings had triangular shaped streets that went downwards. The queen’s kingdom (it’s funny that when it was the queen’s turn it’s still called kingdom! I mean it should be called queendom! Right? It only makes sense!) I was saying, the queen’s kingdom was straw coloured and made out of clay, and the king’s kingdom was hay coloured and made out of mud. But it’s not like they rebuilt every time they switched, I mean it would only take a decade to just redo everything, right? No, they didn’t rebuild, but they did redecorate, and it was pretty fast. Everything was pretty much automatic that was controlled from this giant control room that each ruler had access to during their decade of ruler-ship. But although the kingdom got changed every ten years and each ruler had different tastes, they both had one thing in common; whenever it was their turn, they made life a living HELL for the other!!! But nobody would complain, because they had their ten years of ruler-ship to look forward to! Isn’t that fun?
Well it wasn’t like this from the beginning. In the beginning nobody took advantage of the other. They just had special tasks sorted out for everyone, and everyone would just stick to them. Nobody would even think about putting one toe out of line. Actually it’s pretty funny how it started. The first time a king thought about stepping out of line a bit, it was about the kings fourth turn to rule (That means almost 80 years in harmony! That’s a new record! I know you did your quick math and I know what you’re thinking. The queens started the first decade. Ladies first and all that). So he was plotting away and he said to himself “it’s not like I’m doing anyone harm, it’s not like I’m lying or cheating… It’s just a teeny tiny bit out of line. No one would even notice!”. So one day he asked one of his slaves to come to the control room. (When I say slave I mean one of the women, one of the future queens) but she wasn’t allowed in the control room, because it wasn’t her turn to rule. But on the other hand she couldn’t disobey her king so she thought to herself “it’s ok, it’s just this once, it’s not like I’m cheating or lying or stealing, it’s not like I’m breaking the rules in public, nobody would even find out! It’s just going to be our little secret”. So she obeyed her king and went to the control room to have a secret meeting with him. When she got there he asked her to become his spy and tell him some of the secrets of the queens. She couldn’t believe her ears! What was she hearing? Were her ears deceiving her? But it was true! That was just what he wanted. She rejected him with a firm NO! it is just not possible! I would be breaking the rules she said. And he said you would be breaking the rules if you disobey me. She said we have rules not to ask each other’s secrets! He said we have rules not to say no to the ruler! Then he started sweet-talking his way into her mind and heart and soul!! (by the way, that’s just something that men do! I have no idea why and I have not yet discovered the reasons! I will let you know when/if I find out) he started telling her that how he thought she was smart and beautiful, and how she was different than the others! And how much he found women’s methods for ruling smart and unique and ingenious! And he said besides I’m asking you this to make our kingdom a batter place, it’s for improvement and if she didn’t help out it meant that she didn’t love her land as much! Now this was just so unfair! How dare you suggest I care less about my kingdom? She said I care about my kingdom just as much as you do! Maybe even more that I am willing to break the rules! He started clapping and cheering and hopping up and down (I don’t know why he did this stuff! He was a fully grown man!) And she saw his happiness and her eyes filled with tears of joy. But she said just this once though! And he said of course my lady! So she shared just one secret with him. She felt guilty about betraying her peers and breaking the rules but she did it anyway because something stronger was pulling her the other way! And it made her happy. So she shared just the one secret and made him promise to keep it a secret and made him swear on his mother’s grave -men can’t go back on a promise when their mother is involved- that he would keep this secret meeting and the fact that she shared this secret a secret! (Following so far?) But what she didn’t know was that there are no such things as secrets!! Oh yes! I bet you didn’t know that either! But it’s the truth! Sad but true!
So the king managed to keep this secret for about a week then he got weak and told his friend! His friend frowned for 5 minutes because he was upset that rules were broken then he got over it and thought maybe I should have a secret spy! Why not? I’m a king and I deserve one too! So he did the same thing and found himself a spy.
Soon every king kept sharing his secret and there wasn’t a king left without a spy. Well except one! He was the last one to find out about the whole spy system. So when it was his turn he called in a queen to the control room and when he told her his idea she gasped and screamed and cried out loud “you traitor! This is outrageous! I will not betray my peers! I am a loyal and just queen! And I don’t need you to have a better life!”. So she kicked him in his (you know!) and left the room with her head held high and her nose in the air proudly. And as soon as she left she went to her friend and said can you believe just what a king asked me to do?? And she said no?? tell tell!! And she told her and she blushed and coughed and kept looking at the sky and kept nodding and blushing and wiping her sweat. Soon the other queens gathered and they all heard the story. They all fake nodded and fake gasped and fake patted her on the back and said how outrageous! Who does he think he is? Until one of the queens said who are you kidding? We are all spies! Why did you lie to her? And she told the loyal honest queen you are a fool! You should have accepted his offer and lied to the rest of us and kept his secret like we all did! There was no harm in it! And she got angry because her honesty had just come back and smacked her in the face! (It’s a funny irony but that too happens a lot! your lying and cheating doesn’t come back and hit you, your honesty does! I still don’t know why? I keep asking the universe but I haven’t found out the reason yet!).
So anyway long story short (I know I know! You’re already bored!) a war began! It was worse than all the world wars put together, including WWIII! Bloodier than the bloodiest of wars and… well let’s just say that it was the worst war ever. It lasted for weeks and weeks stretched into months and months stretched into years and years stretched into decades but decades didn’t stretch into centuries! Finally the blood bath was over! They decided enough is enough! We need to settle this down logically! (just in time huh? Good thing they didn’t figure this out later!).
So by the time the bloody war was over there was nothing left of the beautiful hay coloured or straw coloured streets, all the birds were dead all the trees were broken, half the queens and two-third of the kings were dead (well because women always manage to kill more! Later when all the good ones are taken they regret it but that’s the way it is!) So there was nothing left of the beautiful, peaceful, perfect kingdom. Everything was destroyed! Even the control room! And it would take years to rebuild that! By the time they decided to settle things logically they forgot what they were all fighting for! So they decided to rebuild the kingdom. The queens all said we demand change! That’s what we fought for! We want things done differently in this land, but because no one could remember what they all fought for in the first place (except me because I’m the narrator!) nobody knew what differently meant! So they decided to forget about the past and start setting new rules. And start all over again.
A few people gave a couple of ideas and everyone loved their ideas so much that it was accepted immediately. They even gave them medals of honour and stuff! It was decided that to avoid wars like this kings and queens should take turns in ruling, and during their reign the other must not meddle with their affairs. Each of them should have about ten years’ time. And the queens should have straw coloured square shaped streets made of clay that went upwards and the kings should have hay coloured triangular shaped streets made of mud that went downwards. Even one person gave the idea of a giant control room! Everyone cheered and though it was such a unique and genius idea. They gave the biggest medal to them. There should be no law breaking, cheating or stealing or fighting. Everyone should be neat and responsible and the whole kingdom should be clean and flawless and they were off to build a kingdom oh so… (There is no other word) perfect!
The End
.jpg)
